Sunday, April 19, 2015

Two Years, Chopped Hair, Urgent Care, SCBWI, Shelving M3 = Roller Coaster Week

Hi friends,

I have so much to catch you up on. This week has been a stressful roller coaster ride. It started off on a good note. I celebrated my 2 year anniversary with Michael by recreating our first date (it's now become a tradition of ours).

To see how it unfolded last year and how our relationship began, click here.

He surprised me greatly by getting me a guitar and I, him, with a symbolic ring he's always wanted.

I don't have a good singing voice, nor am I skilled in music, but growing up music became a part of my life. I played flute for three years, piano for two, and learned some chords on the guitar by my ex-boyfriend in high school and it stuck through college. I was never really that good though, but I enjoyed putting simple melodies together and writing lyrics, but when I moved to Seattle, I literally gave away all my belongings, including my guitar and put it in the past. So it was very thoughtful that Michael had thought to give me a piece of California, and a creative part of me back.

What a wonderful way to start the week!

But unfortunately, work has been pretty busy, and I found myself pretty stressed with all that I needed to do, not just in my work life, but personal and writing life as well. I was overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to do and the non-progress in M3. It drove me insane. Why couldn't I get this story out as I did M2? Was life really so busy and chaotic that I couldn't handle it all? Would I have to give something up?

This overwhelming feeling festered within me, and I had hoped that maybe the SCBWI conference this weekend would give me some sort of direction in my writing life. As for the work and personal, I would just have to trudge through it. So I rush ordered my business cards and put on my can-do attitude.

But my attitude about work didn't change. I'm the kind of person that likes to get my stuff done so when software issues or last minute changes come my way, it ruffles my feathers a bit. But I had planned it out and I would finish my project by Friday.

On Thursday I had a haircut scheduled during my lunch break. I was long overdue for one, and had planned to keep my length and get my split ends trimmed, but when I sat in the salon chair, that overwhelming feeling came over me again. The reflection in the mirror looked so haggard, so sloppy, so stressed. "Just chop it all off," I told my stylist, not wanting another worry, no how matter infinitesimal it was.

And so she did.

With the weight from my hair off me, I was starting to feel better. More refreshed. I could handle the three facets of my life. Surely I could. I was a new woman now!

And then that night I got sick. A severe allergy attack. I couldn't sleep all night. And come morning, I wasn't any better. I was worse. I called in sick to work. I would not finish my project. That devastated me. Like I said, I pride myself in getting my work done, especially when I made promises to meet certain deadlines. Then I broke out into a fever. I started crying. Whatever this illness was, it didn't seem likely that I would be able to make it out to dinner that night with a friend and to a writer's networking cocktail hour like I had planned. Would I even be well enough to make it to the SCBWI conference the next day?

When Michael got home from work he took me to urgent care. Turns out my severe allergy attack turned into a sinus infection. I'd never had a sinus infection before so this pain was new to me and unbearable. The doctor prescribed me a nasal spray along with some other suggested OTC drugs. I went home, followed the directions, but didn't feel any better. I tossed and turned all night, getting snippets of sleep, and improved enough that I could rally myself and go to the conference.

I'll make another lengthier post about my experience as a first time conference attendee, but long story short, it made me realize that M3 needed to be put on pause. Perhaps I was overthinking it which stunted my progress. Or maybe I had fallen out of love with it after taking too many breaks with traveling and moving. Or maybe, M3 wasn't ready to be written and wasn't fully yet realized. Maybe it's one of those stories that takes years to cook, a story that I'll come back to, adding some spice, adjusting the taste, until I get it just right.

For now, M3 will be shelved, and I'm moving onto my next idea. 

It's been a roller coaster week filled with many ups and downs, twists, and turns. I was never one for roller coasters so I'm kind of glad to be off the ride now. I think it's time to leave the amusement park and get back to the steady humdrum of life.

Have you ever had a roller coaster kind of week? Comment below!

Yours truly,



  1. Your hair is so cute! Unfortunately, I've had many sinus infections in my life so I sympathize.

    I hate rollercoasters! I SO know what you mean about M3. Sometimes stories are just not ready, and we can't force them out without ruining them. I'm glad you were able to let it go. At least for now. So many writers don't know how to do that!!

    Happy two years to you and Michael!! ^_^ I can't wait to hear about the conference!

    1. Thank you! I was really nervous about cutting it, but now I'm happy with the choice. Thank thee lord someone can relate! But I'm so sorry you had to go through so many! Gosh and I thought once was bad enough!

      It took me so long to just lay it to rest. I just really wanted to fix it, but the rest of the story just wasn't coming to me and lining up. I actually had to press pause on M1 too. That was also Contemporary. As you can tell, I really want to write a quick ass contemporary one day, but I find I'm more hard on myself with contemporary because everything has to be perfect and I put so much pressure for the writing to resonate with the reader that the story kind of falls to the wayside. I gotta learn how to balance that!

  2. Your hair looks so cute! I want to cut my hair, too, but my hair frizzes up a lot so it needs some weight to keep it down. Can't wait to hear about the conference!

    And feel better...I've had a few sinus infections. They're terrible, especially since they can feel like migraines sometimes.

    1. Thank you :)

      Oh wow. I never knew sinus infections were so common. And yes. Migraine all day. So awful. I really hope I don't get one ever again! So sorry to hear that you've suffered from them too!

  3. Glad you were able to make it on Saturday!

  4. Your new hair is super cute! And how lucky to go to that conference! I bet it was amazing... all the illustrators!!!

    1. Thanks! And yes. I am SO jealous of those illustrators! It was really neat seeing all of their portfolios!

  5. I love the haircut, Michelle!!! You look very grown-up :)

    1. Thank you Karla! I was hoping for more sophistication! Funny thing is, my coworker says I now look twelve -_-