Saturday, June 2, 2012

Cyclic Addictions

It's strange to see how fast the years go. Things seem to have changed so much, and at the same time not at all. Like the seasons, we see the familiar temperatures that come and go year after year. The hot, the cold, the warmth, and the cool. The storms, the blazing heat, the whispering winds, and the crying rain.

On that note, there's this memory game I like to play in my head. On a random day I'll sit and think to myself, "What did I do at this time exactly one year ago? Two years ago?" And so on. Sometimes journals jog my memory when I fail to remember, but I notice that I'm always changing, but the same at heart. A romantic, dreamer, and always too trusting. However, my perceptions of the world around me is constantly changing and I've begun to question who I am and who I want to be. I don't want to be chained by other people's perceptions of me nor do I want to be a product of society's conditioning. I don't want to be used or taken for granted, and I will not live in order to please others. It's hard to stick up for yourself, and it's difficult to break old habits.

These habits, or addictions that haunt me, come like the seasons it seems.

But it's time to break free from it all and let it all go. We won't be able to know the day our light goes out, but I rather go with a lighter load. I will not be weighed down, even during eternal sleep.

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