Tears

What are tears? But words of the heart?

I'll admit, for a blogger I don't write much. It's due to the fact that I believe their is a fine line between public and private life. I've always been a private person. The person who bottles up everything and shuts down, because she doesn't know what to say, nor explain. I like to think that I'm not fragile. But the truth is, I am. I like to think that I'm brave. But I'm not. There's a fine line between the person you are and the person you want to be. Finding that middle ground is a journey, and every time I think I've made it or found that medium, I realize that I'm farther from where I've started. I've been going the opposite direction. I've gotten lost. I've been stuck. I've been found. And sometimes I've disappeared.

The hard part, is reappearing. Trying again. To find a way, to find a future, when the past follows you like a ghost. Haunting you when awake, and trying to take you as you sleep.

It would be so easy to succumb and give up. But I know I can't allow it to be an option.

Maybe a good cry was all I needed. To wash away the pain and resentment imprinted on my heart, etched into my skin, and burned into my memory. Maybe a few tears will cleanse the soul. A few tears for some sort of solace. A few tears, for when there's no one to listen.

I'm doing okay. But someone somewhere right now, isn't. And so, a few tears for them.

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If you're quiet, you can hear him.
Slow and shallow breaths.
White puffs in winter's black.
Frozen hands
unable to reach out.
For help, for love, for sympathy,
and most of all forgiveness.
A lonely shadow
in the recesses of our minds.

Infecting-
slow and agonizing.
A funeral of our suffering.