Writing Update: Reflections, Read-Through, & Revision Notes/Process

One year ago was my first day post-college. I remembered the strange sensation I had after completing my last final. Excited and so afraid of what was to come. I didn't really have a sound plan. I just knew that I wanted a break. So for about three months after I simply wrote, hoping to complete my first manuscript. I had this silly notion that I could break out into writing with this one book straight out of college. Maybe that happens for some people, but that didn't happen for me. My first novel I worked on centered on a very depressed protagonist. Being so wrapped into it, I, myself felt depressed. And the farther along I got into the manuscript, the more doubt I had in my silly notion. The doubt made me feel like I was just playing out something that would never happen.

A series of life-changing events followed that I won't get into, but once those three months were up, I put that manuscript away, got a full-time job and moved to Seattle to be Michael and to start a new life. I stopped writing for a long while through this transition. For once, attempting to write filled me with dread and anxiety. The doubt continued to plague me, even though I wans't aware of it.

After awhile, I started to miss writing. My dream of being a writer, no matter how much I tried to stifle it, never went away. So one day I printed out my manuscript, went to a cafe, and read it. I didn't even get past page 30. It was truly awful. I knew then that this wasn't the manuscript that would take me where I wanted to go. Sure it was disappointing, but it was also a realization that 1) I still wanted to be a writer and 2) it was time I got over the dread and anxiety.

So I started on a completely new idea, M2, printed out the second draft and read it. Though it needs tons of work, I can say that after my read-through, I was not disappointed. I was proud. This was such a change compared to my read-through of M1. M2 had a story I was falling in love with. M2 had characters I cared about. And last of all, I enjoyed writing M2 and continue to do so despite the difficulties.

I'm now making tons of revision notes too take me into my third draft. There's still a lot of work ahead, but I finally feel like I'm going somewhere with it.