To Kiss To Love To Kill

The alcohol upon my lips,

a teasing promise for what I hope to forget.

You undress me with your eyes.

Wanting me fully exposed.

and with that I try to hide,

but it was I you chose. 

You brush my skin, with the want to feel within.

I shut my eyes tight, losing the last ray of light.

You grasp my hair,

and my heart you begin to tear.

My body begins to burn,

it's pain I quickly learn.

I bite my tongue,

tasting the blood.

Past becomes present, and images begin to flood.

Reckless. Helpless. Shameless.

I lay there dead but awake,

with my spirit you simply take.

Your hands wrapped around my throat,

losing air I begin to float.

Muffled sounds in my ear.

Too scared to show any fear.

I smile wide with a wicked grin,

dawning on me that it's about to begin.

Shards of glass begin to rain.

The darkness consumes us whole.

My skin, your teeth... insane.

No sight, no window, no soul.

My scream beckons you.

A ghost with a whisper to the wind.

A permanent purgatory.

Because I have sinned.

Your hands laced in mine,

with a cold knife on my neck.

Telling me sweetly

that it'll only hurt for a sec.

My eyes begin to glaze,

I refuse to cry at the moment.

I force myself into a daze.

To a time of contentment:

He holds me gently,

a soft kiss on my cheek.

My heart beat quickens,

my knees go weak.

A purple flower

he lays in my hand.

A blissful memory

with our feet tucked into the sand.

He looks into my eyes,

with a feeling of love;

like I was an answered prayer,

sent from above.

His arms hold me

into his chest,

like we are one,

and I better than the rest.

Yes, he chose me.

To kiss, to love, to kill.

And I am forever at his will.

He is all I see.

His sunset eyes and sunrise voice,

and now he makes his choice...

Presses the blade,

quick and cold.

This is the last time

he has to hold;

hold me alive

before my last breathe.

Loving you, even in death.

My struggle for

the last bit of air.

You don't hide your disgust,

nor do you care.

My heartbeat ceases to exist,

and I have become lifeless.

I open my eyes and see your name.

I trace it with my finger upon your grave.

My eyes begin to blur knowing that I cannot be saved.

a trail of wet fire blazes down my face.

I have no saving grace.

For I am dead among the living.,

and you have moved on taking all the winnings.

It is then I allow myself to cry.

Bracing myself on my way to die. 

Alcohol bittersweet on my lips.

Your hands hug her on her hips.

I walk out the door into the night,

deciding that I lost my will to fight.

A ghost wandering in the streets,

with not even one single heart beat.

And I see it in my minds eye,

you kiss her and feel like you can fly.

an old feeling you felt when I was alive.

But I've faded into the black with saying no goodbyes.