What happens after Pitch Wars announcements.

1. You pinch yourself until you get bruises because this is all so surreal and you can't believe you actually made it.

2. You declare your love for your mentor and Brenda Drake because really, this would not be possible without them and then you celebrate by drinking a bottle of wine with your fiancé while you try to keep up on twitter and text messages filled with congratulations.

 

3. You get to know other Pitch Wars mentees and you get tossed into this really cool support system that will be there for you while you go on this journey (all the while you're thinking, oh em gee, the talent here is amaze-balls. Am I sure I'm in the right place?).

4. EDIT LETTER. You read it like ten times, hugging it to your chest because the words are like diamonds! Gem-sized nuggets that will really make your manuscript shine! Suddenly it's like you found your writing fairy godmother and you can't help but look forward to the ball (or in this case, the agent round).

 

5. But then you remember you don't have the best outfit (aka your manuscript still hasn't reached it's full potential) so you get down to work and sew yourself the best darn gown you can.

6. Oh, but wait. You are a total newb at sewing so you video call your writing fairy godmother to go over the stitching and how to approach it (aka discuss the edit letter and make a game plan).

I am currently heading into stage six as I compile my list of questions for my mentor. I also squeezed in a vacation between stages 4 and 5 so this week has been just a whirlwind of AWESOMENESS.

*pinches myself* Is this still real life?

IWSG: Pitch Wars Announcements



Being a apart of IWSG, I've gone through ups and downs throughout my writing process, wondering when I'd ever have an upswing (if ever). What I truly like about this group is the continuing support that really encourages you to persevere.

 

Last month I entered my current manuscript into Pitch Wars, an awesome contest created by Brenda Drake which gives writers (if selected) an opportunity to work with a mentor (published/agented authors, editors, or industry interns). I entered pretty hopeful, but at the same time I tried to talk myself out of it to lessen the blow of disappointment. Over the weekend, I was a nervous wreck. With about 1,600 manuscripts and only 125 slots, my slim chances were enough for me to delve into an enormous bowl of macaroni and cheese. I know the business is very subjective, which only heightened my nerves. Maybe my story was good, but it didn't mean someone would connect with it.

 

By the time announcement day was rolling in, I spent a lot of time consoling myself before the results were up. Though I had an ounce of hope, I went into it expecting not to make it. Then lo and behold I got my 'yes.'

 

 

I am beyond thrilled to be working with Brianna Shrum (author of Never, Never out on September 22). So thrilled, I could hardly believe it when I saw my name on the list!!!

 

So the point of this post? Don't ever count yourself out! And have some hope in your endeavors, because a little ounce of it goes a long way. With all contests, there are no guarantees, but nonetheless I am thankful I get to experience the process with my mentor and fellow mentees.

 

One thing I have a hard time doing is believing in myself. But if you don't believe in yourself, how can we expect others to? Own your craft. Keep writing, and keep going.

 

Thanks again IWSG-ers! For always listening to my rants and giving me a push when I needed it.

 

This was a post for IWSG, created by Alex J. Cavanaugh to 'To share and encourage. Writers can express doubts and concerns without fear of appearing foolish or weak. Those who have been through the fire can offer assistance and guidance. It’s a safe haven for insecure writers of all kinds!'

Our awesome co-hosts today are Julie Flanders, Murees Dupé, Dolorah at Book Lover, Christine Rains, and Heather Gardner!

Pitch Wars Mentee Bio: Hi, my name is...

Michelle. Thank you so much for stopping by to read my mentee bio. For my regular readers, feel free to disregard this post, unless you'd like to learn even more about me ;)

I always feel really self-conscious about writing these bio's so I'm gonna make it short and sweet by writing a couple of lists! If you're not into lists, then feel free to read my blog bio, here!

In a nutshell:

1. A 20-something dreamer, trying to make her dreams come true while working full-time.

2. Currently living in the suburbs of Seattle with my fiance who I met in PARIS (true story), but I'm originally from Sacramento (a west coast, girl for sure).

3. Love, love, love food & drinks. (I'm up for trying any cuisine and any cool concoctions. I'm also the best dessert taster!).

4. Speaking of drinks, my absolute fave is wine, followed by lattes, then tea. You can bet I always have a beverage while I write.

5. I have a little black cat named Blaire who acts more like a dog than a cat.

6. When life and circumstances allow, I love to travel. There's no better high (besides hitting 'The End' on a manuscript) than exploring a new place.

7. My favorite season is Fall. And though I like Summer a whole lot since I get rain the majority of the year, I'm looking forward to the leaves changing.

8. Lying on a cozy carpet, wrapped in a soft blanket, in front of a fireplace with a yummy drink reading/writing = my perfect day.

9. I am the youngest of five sisters, and was raised by the most hardworking mother ever. She took a risk leaving her homeland, doing whatever she could to get to the U.S. so that we could have a better life, and for that I am eternally grateful. 

She is my muse when it comes to writing and living a fulfilled life.

(total mama's girl, I know)

Why I'd make a great CP/beta/friend/cheerleader:

1. I have a passion for writing and reading.

2. Love meeting new friends!

3. I hate to see people give up on what they love to do, so you bet I'll give you a pep talk or two.

(if you need it)

4. I love how the writing community is all about helping each other, and challenging one another to improve upon our craft.

5. I received my BA in English Literature with an emphasis in Creative Writing.

6. I graduated with honors from the University of California, Davis, as the commencement speaker.

7. A few of my poems were published by an independent press.

8. I completed a YA Workshop course at Hugo House, Seattle.

9. Using points 5-8, I've critiqued before so I know what critiques are constructive and what is not. Think of me as the bracing to your building, not the wrecking ball. 

I'm not the type of CP that will tear you down (because I've had experience with those who do - and it's not fun).

8. I am a member of SCBWI. Anyone one else in the Western Washington region?

9. Genres I like to critique/beta read in: anything in YA, and Contemporary NA

For a list of some of my favorite books, check out my bookshelf here! 

Wanna connect with me? Feel free to use the contact form, twitter, or Instagram on the right side bar. Or leave a comment below.

Thanks again for reading and stopping by!

To check out other mentees and return to the blog hop, click here.

SCBWI WWA Conference 2015

Well I did it. I scratched number 1 off my list. It wasn't the LA Conference, but the Regional Western Washington. My friend brought up a good point that it seemed like a waste to miss out on the one just a short drive away rather than to shell out for a flight and hotel expenses. And I had to agree. I also wanted to network with people in my area too, so the regional conference seemed like the best option for the conference novice that I was.

Here are a few things I learned:

1. Order your business cards early. I slacked on this and ordered mine a few days before so I had to pay rush shipping to get them on time. Business cards are a great way for networking. Trading cards take only a split second versus trying to find a piece of paper, scratching down your info, and handing it over. In an environment where your headed to your next breakout session, you may only have a few minutes to connect. So get them! The sooner, the better!

• Where should you get them? Well my quick google search indicated that MOO had the best review with VistaPrint coming in second. Personally, I like MOO better because they have some really cool templates you can use, and the quality is pretty darn nice.

2. Don't go into a conference having expectations. You know the kind of expectations I mean. You've heard the stories where aspiring writers bumps into cool agents, they instantly connect, and then aspiring writer talks about their book, agent says send it over, and then they want to represent aspiring writer, book is sold, and then writer posts the how I got my agent story on their blog. Cue dreamlike swoon and hopes of something similar happening to you.

Okay, maybe I'm coming off like a pessimist, because it does happen! But don't go into it expecting it because you might sorely disappointed when it doesn't.

3. Try to make friends, and don't be put off if you don't connect. A conference is a great place to make friends, find beta readers, and critique partners. I think the majority of us 'book people,' are naturally introverted so putting yourself out there is kind of tough, but just do it. You never know who you'll meet. I had some difficulty making new friends, but a lot of people from my YA workshop class last year attended the conference as well, so it was nice to catch up with them all.

4. Bring a notebook and pen, sweater, and tote bag.

• Conferences are usually held in hotels in large reception areas. You have no control over the a/c or heater, so a sweater or light jacket will come in handy. I found myself FREEZING at times. Dress comfortably, but business casual. It's all about first impressions, right? I tend to be more of a dressier person so I may have stuck out a bit. But I kind of like to distinguish myself from the crowd so I was comfortable with that. 
• Bring a notebook to take notes. You never know when inspiration strikes. It's also a great way to reinforce what you learned throughout the day. Also, you get tons of book recommendations at these sort of things, so jot those down! 
• Bring a tote bag. Or something that can fit a folder. You'll get a folder with helpful info when you check in. I ended up having a small bag that fit my notebook, but not my folder so I had to carry that around. It would have been just nice to slip into a larger bag so that I could free up my hands going from one room to the other. Note that this doesn't mean bring like a carry on bag. You'll be weaving through crowds so you don't want something large that will be a pain to take around, or worse, accidentally hit someone, spilling coffee over them.

5. When deciding which conference to go to, get reviews from people who went, and decide what you want to get out of it.

• You can get reviews from blogs, forums, and people you know. It's nice to get their impressions of it so that you can get an idea of what kind of conference it is.
• What do you want out of it? To get inspired? Workshops on craft? Or a chance to pitch your book to an agent or editor?
• SCBWI was more of a get inspired, learn through breakout sessions and intensives. I know there are some other conferences that had pitching opportunities or are more broad or niche in their genres.
• Check out the conferences website, the scheduled program, and the faculty list to help you narrow down your choice.

Now, onto my general impressions and my experience at SCBWI Western Washington Conference.

My intent was to make friends, get inspired, and if I talked to an agent, that'd be pretty darn cool. I was still suffering from my lingering sinus infection so it was hard for me to get my enthusiasm up considering I could hardly eat the day prior. But I put myself out there and tried to bring out my social butterfly.

What surprised me most was the amount of picture book writers and illustrators there was. It outnumbered YA for sure. Maybe I could have tried harder, but I didn't find too many people in my genre or near my age. I noticed the demographic was more older (30's to 40's) Caucasian women. There was of course, a few males, and younger people (early 20's that were still in college).

I always feel like I'm at an awkward age: mid twenties, business professional. But it dawned on me that perhaps people my age (who are starting out on their own and perhaps paying back school loans) may not want to shell out for conferences compared to more established people who had funds or young scholars (who are already paying tuition in school, so this could be seen as a class or another learning opportunity).

I'm sure it's not like that at every regional conference though. A lot of factors go into it. I, however, knew a few friendly faces, so I still had fun catching up with them.

The agent, editor, writer panels were really interesting to see. The keynote speakers were very inspiring. And break out sessions were a cool learning experience. I can't give a detailed summary or reiterate the lessons since it's an intelligence property issue--the information belongs to them and should not be redistributed. What I can say is that you will get inspired, and you will learn something new. So that's a pretty neat pay off of conferences.

The takeaway my friends and I got from this conference is the 'persistence and perseverance' idea of success. Those that reach the dream--getting agented, publication, etc--are those that never gave up. It may have taken decades and they had moments of wanting to quit, but it was those that pushed through it that made the dream possible. Of course, there's also the exception of those who's first book became 'the one' that landed them success, but they aren't the majority. The majority are the ones who persevere.

So what does it mean to persevere? Well my definition would be those that continue to write. To quote Robert Penn Warren, "Real writers are those who want to write, need to write, have to write." And as for success? Well I think Winston Churchill said it best, "Success is not final, failure is not fatal: it is the courage to continue that counts."

So continue on my brave writer friends. Your time. My time. It will come. But in the meantime we must write, and continue to do so. Simple words, yet hard to follow through on in our busy day-to-day lives.

Two Years, Chopped Hair, Urgent Care, SCBWI, Shelving M3 = Roller Coaster Week

Hi friends,

I have so much to catch you up on. This week has been a stressful roller coaster ride. It started off on a good note. I celebrated my 2 year anniversary with Michael by recreating our first date (it's now become a tradition of ours).

To see how it unfolded last year and how our relationship began, click here.

He surprised me greatly by getting me a guitar and I, him, with a symbolic ring he's always wanted.

I don't have a good singing voice, nor am I skilled in music, but growing up music became a part of my life. I played flute for three years, piano for two, and learned some chords on the guitar by my ex-boyfriend in high school and it stuck through college. I was never really that good though, but I enjoyed putting simple melodies together and writing lyrics, but when I moved to Seattle, I literally gave away all my belongings, including my guitar and put it in the past. So it was very thoughtful that Michael had thought to give me a piece of California, and a creative part of me back.

What a wonderful way to start the week!

But unfortunately, work has been pretty busy, and I found myself pretty stressed with all that I needed to do, not just in my work life, but personal and writing life as well. I was overwhelmed by all the stuff I had to do and the non-progress in M3. It drove me insane. Why couldn't I get this story out as I did M2? Was life really so busy and chaotic that I couldn't handle it all? Would I have to give something up?

This overwhelming feeling festered within me, and I had hoped that maybe the SCBWI conference this weekend would give me some sort of direction in my writing life. As for the work and personal, I would just have to trudge through it. So I rush ordered my business cards and put on my can-do attitude.

But my attitude about work didn't change. I'm the kind of person that likes to get my stuff done so when software issues or last minute changes come my way, it ruffles my feathers a bit. But I had planned it out and I would finish my project by Friday.

On Thursday I had a haircut scheduled during my lunch break. I was long overdue for one, and had planned to keep my length and get my split ends trimmed, but when I sat in the salon chair, that overwhelming feeling came over me again. The reflection in the mirror looked so haggard, so sloppy, so stressed. "Just chop it all off," I told my stylist, not wanting another worry, no how matter infinitesimal it was.

And so she did.

With the weight from my hair off me, I was starting to feel better. More refreshed. I could handle the three facets of my life. Surely I could. I was a new woman now!

And then that night I got sick. A severe allergy attack. I couldn't sleep all night. And come morning, I wasn't any better. I was worse. I called in sick to work. I would not finish my project. That devastated me. Like I said, I pride myself in getting my work done, especially when I made promises to meet certain deadlines. Then I broke out into a fever. I started crying. Whatever this illness was, it didn't seem likely that I would be able to make it out to dinner that night with a friend and to a writer's networking cocktail hour like I had planned. Would I even be well enough to make it to the SCBWI conference the next day?

When Michael got home from work he took me to urgent care. Turns out my severe allergy attack turned into a sinus infection. I'd never had a sinus infection before so this pain was new to me and unbearable. The doctor prescribed me a nasal spray along with some other suggested OTC drugs. I went home, followed the directions, but didn't feel any better. I tossed and turned all night, getting snippets of sleep, and improved enough that I could rally myself and go to the conference.

I'll make another lengthier post about my experience as a first time conference attendee, but long story short, it made me realize that M3 needed to be put on pause. Perhaps I was overthinking it which stunted my progress. Or maybe I had fallen out of love with it after taking too many breaks with traveling and moving. Or maybe, M3 wasn't ready to be written and wasn't fully yet realized. Maybe it's one of those stories that takes years to cook, a story that I'll come back to, adding some spice, adjusting the taste, until I get it just right.

For now, M3 will be shelved, and I'm moving onto my next idea. 

It's been a roller coaster week filled with many ups and downs, twists, and turns. I was never one for roller coasters so I'm kind of glad to be off the ride now. I think it's time to leave the amusement park and get back to the steady humdrum of life.

Have you ever had a roller coaster kind of week? Comment below!

Yours truly,

Michelle

A girl's kind of weekend.

One thing I really missed when I moved was having that solid group of girlfriends. If only it were possible to pack them up with you too! For me, I had a hard time finding friends when I first moved to Washington. I was no longer in the environment where everyone was in my age group, or people going through the same thing I was. Soon the distance between California and Washington became more apparent, and phone calls from my old friends less frequent (though we are still good friends and able to pick up right where we left off when we do see each other). It was a huge adjustment period.

Personally, I prefer having a small handful of close friends than a big network, as I find it difficult to really get to know a person otherwise. This past weekend I was able to do just that and have one-on-one time with a few gal pals.

On Friday, Cristine and I went wine tasting in Woodinville and had dinner afterwards to calm our spinning heads. We encountered really cool people at the tastings, sparking conversations with strangers we may never come across again. Before I knew it, it was already past ten and time for me to make the drive home.



Photo Cred: Cristine Peters

Saturday was a bit different. I met with my writer friend Lisa for a hike and we were rewarded with an awesome view. Afterwards we headed to Din Tai Fung for some much needed dumplings and drinks and nachos at Tavern Hall.

In the evening, my friend Hyojin came over. She made cocktails for us and I made dinner. Afterwards we did some facials, gabbed all night, and ate dessert. The morning after we went to brunch and drank tea and talked all afternoon.

Throughout all these separate encounters, the big takeaway from it all were our conversations. If you can talk about anything and everything, and also be okay with comfortable silences, then you know they're the real deal. Conversations that are reciprocated is a big indicator of a friendship's success.

I feel the need to write about successful friendships in this post, only because I went through a period of my life where I was really social, always had a bunch of people around me, but never did I ever feel more lonely in my life. It was a rude awakening realizing I didn't even know them. Yeah, I could spout superficial facts about them, but that was it. Nothing under the surface.

I am lucky in the sense that I have permanent friends. Though sisters by birth, I have a friendly relationship with all of my sisters, but friends outside my family allow me to get a different perspective on things.

One thing my friends and I contemplated was about the future. What's planned, and what is not. What do we want out of life. How to achieve personal happiness. Though I hardly had any writing time this weekend, it made me think a lot about how my protagonist would answer these questions, and how I should convey her friends.

Since the characters in M3 is loosely based on people I knew, I find myself thinking about the real life versions of them a lot. What are they up to now, are they happy? And how do they remember themselves in the time where our lives crossed?

I'm rambling into a tangent now, but it's strange how different friendships come across certain periods of your life, and even more amazing when some friendships can endure all of life's changes. There's one friend in particular that I am oh so very fond of. He is my oldest childhood friend. And though I've moved over three times since we first met, he has been the one constant (besides my family) in my life.

Who is your oldest friend? And would you ever write them into a book? Answer with a comment below ;)

Cinderella movie, and heading into revision mode.

Hey, you know that Cinderella movie that opened this weekend? Yeah? Go see it now! This remake is stunningly cinematic, the acting heartfelt (it got me teary twice!), and the music emotionally balanced. When it was over, I found myself surprised by how much I loved it. Considering how you know how it goes and ends, you would think their wouldn't be anything surprising about it at all. Yet somehow it made me feel like six year's old again, watching it for the very first time, and to me, that's some serious movie magic!

And those costumes! Ahhh! Everything was so beautiful, and the cast so perfect. I'm really glad Disney kept the story like its original. I'm getting tired of all those reimaginings. This just makes me even more excited for the 'Beauty and the Beast' remake with Emma Watson. That's my favorite Disney movie ever.

Okay now that my fangirling moment is over, I guess I should do a writing update on M3 (though I kinda just want to write a fairytale myself now). Pumping out the first draft, was well eh, painful. So I printed it out, did a read-through and made serious notes with the help of cocktails, fries, cookies, and ice cream. Not the best writing diet!

After posting on IWSG this month and getting encouraging feedback, I've decided to change a major component of my story which will mean serious revisions. So yeah, going into a second draft revision mode. I'm going at a snail's pace compared to last year's M2, but I have a pretty good excuse with the move and all ;)

Now go see Cinderella! It's Michelle-approved!

IWSG: On first loves and the ones after.

You always remember your first love. Your first love opens up this great possibility of love that you never could have fathomed without experiencing it first hand. Your first love teaches you about yourself and how to be selfless. How to care for another's happiness more than your own.

 

For once, things are finally brighter, more colorful, more clear, and you hold onto this clarity hoping it's not some temporary high, but something everlasting...

 

Then the honeymoon phase passes, things get tough, and you have to decide whether to stick it out or go out in search of something more (whatever 'more' is). So you decide on the latter, and now the first love becomes a measuring stick for anyone else that comes after, until.... until what? You find 'the one'?

 

For me, this can be applied to writing. My first completed manuscript was like a first love to me. I was enamored by the story, the process, the characters. I look back at it fondly, thinking of the happy moments (disregarding the horrible writer's blocks inbetween) and wonder, will I get that again?

 

I'm facing a difficult decision with my current WIP. Should I run with what I have right now? Or change it? Knowing that if I do, I may change the whole undercurrent of the story. And if so, are the changes necessary to what I want to accomplish? Decisions, decisions. Why is it the ones that come after your first love always seem like more trouble and less romantic?

 

I remember the boy that came after my first love. He had curly brown hair that I thought was the cutest thing, but what really looked like a large soppy mop. He had an air of confidence that pulled me in, only because I, myself, at the time lacked it. There was no chase. Rather, I gave in to the easiness of it all. He was a rebound. And I think he knew it.

 

It was easy between us because we weren't serious. But when it's all fun and games without any depth to it whatsoever, you realize that the relationship becomes meaningless.

 

Is that what my current WIP will be? Meaningless? I hope not.

 

Boyfriend number two after my first love was the complete opposite. He was oh so serious, to a capital S. We were two broken people at the time, and I believe he wanted to fix the issues within him by fixing me. No surprise, it became a toxic relationship and I crumbled under the pressure. I was not the girl he envisioned and as much as it hurt, I had to walk away.

 

Sometimes I have this impulse of walking away from my current WIP just because it's so serious. Since it touches on a personal issue, sometimes I fear my mind can snap back to what it once was that I forget how far it has come now.

 

How do you feel about your current WIP compared to your past ones?



 

This blog post was in participation of the Insecure Writer’s Support Group! Big thanks to this month's co-hosts: Chemist Ken, Suzanne Sapseed, and Shannon Lawrence!

IWSG: Inspiration via personal experiences versus imaginative

One of the first pieces of advice I had ever gotten was 'write what you know.' I'm sure many of you guys have probably gotten the same advice yourself. It's good advice to a certain extent, but it can also be very limiting to your potential.

 

Starting out, 'write what you know' is legitatmite advice. Grounding yourself in reality and developing your eye (how you see the world) is critical in improving your craft. By training yourself to be present in your surroundings, you're able to be create visceral scenes through the use of words.

 

But if you only limit yourself to reconstructing reality, you will limit yourself by containing your creativity. So what to do? Well, with your developed eye and a dash of imagination, you can then train yourself to be present in your mind. And if there's something you don't know, you do research until you become knowledgeable. Thus, reality acts as a springboard for something else.

 

That's not to say that reality and writing what you know is not imaginative. With a unique perspective, sometimes the most imaginative things can be right in front of you.

 

To quote Shakespeare in Hamlet, 'Though this be madness, yet there is method in't.' I like to think of writing what you know and writing what you don't know as a method for madness.

 

When inspiration strikes, via reality or in your own imagination, that is considered madness, and only when you apply a method to it can it be translated across the page. If you don't like that saying, then perhaps bringing chaos to order will resonate with you.

 

I am writing this post merely as an observation of my own experience with what I've written. When I started with M1, I stuck to reality, contemporary if you will. I didn't finish it. I got bored. Then I was hit with inspiration of another realm, and I wrote M2, and I'm still in love with that story. It challenged me creatively, and that's when I realized it's okay not to write what you know, because it's the process of figuring it out and learning your way through that makes the journey worthwhile and exciting.

 

Now I'm writing M3, going back to contemporary. This time, however, it's loosley inspired by my time in high school and the people I've known throughout the years. But it's also an issues book on body dysmorphia and self-worth, something that I struggled with a lot in my college years and something my main protagonist will go through in the span of a year. In a lot of ways, M3 is harder than writing M2 because I'm writing through personal experiences rather than imaginative inspiration.

 

I've been rereading a lot of my old journals, which really makes me shy away from writing sometimes because somehow I feel myself transplanted right back to my adolescent years. Not sure if it's a good thing or a bad thing. All I know is, M3 will definitely be more of a struggle to finish, but somehow I think I'll get a lot of meaning out of it.

 

How about you? Where does your inspiration come from your current WIP?

 

This post was in participation of ISWG. Thanks to Alex J. Cavanaugh for creating this awesome group and this week's co-hosts:  Gwen Gardner, Dolorah, Sarah Foster, and M. Pax!

flowers, food, & football kind of weekend

I can never get enough of weekends, but there's nothing more satisfying than going into work on a Monday knowing you spent your weekend well! Last week was a long one. I worked weird hours to accomodate appointments so when the weekend came, I was ready to crash. Michael has also been working long hours so I've taken over food-related duties (meal planning, cooking, and grocery shopping). One night when I was making dinner, he came home with a bright surprise for me: flowers! The week in Seattle has been grey, grey, and extremely grey, so it was just what I needed to brighten my day.

When Friday hit, I was really craving ramen, so Michael took me to Yoroshiku. As always, it was delicious and totally hit the spot. I recommend it if you're looking for a ramen fix.

On Saturday we went to Cafe Flora for brunch and spent the day working (for him) and writing (for me). Then we met up with some friends at a bar in dowtown to catch the Seahwaks game. I'm not that into football, but man when you live in a city where that's what everyone and anyone seems to be talking about lately, it makes you curious to know what the hype's all about. So I went, and I watched, and I must say it was entertaining.

On Sunday we went out to brunch again (I know, we go too often!), this time at Monsoon. Once back home we went back to work and writing. I FINALLY finished Revision 6 of M2! All it needs is a clean up and polish and I'll be finally able to let it go and get back to M3.

"Recoverable"

I was a december evening,
dark and cold
with my sunlight fading.

with a haunted heart
i crawled into my mind
& built up a world,
where i could shine

and i felt oh, so, untouchable
and no one could take it away;
and i felt all so knowable
spread my wings and fly away.

With an april morning
damp but warm
with the dew drops sparkling
a moment reborn.

i was changing
my mind rearranging,
all the good & the bad
either way
nothing ever lasts

but i felt oh, so, unbreakable
though it all seemed like child's play;
still i felt oh, so, capable
to wake up and get on my way.

"My Cares of Vain Worth"

I used to determine my worth by pounds
and only on an inverse scale.
I counted this and that and ran and ran
but only to hopelessly fail.
I should have been smarter
and dismissed outward beauty,
but all I could think was
how do they really see me?

It is vain, I know, to care
of others' thoughts--
physically nothing
in the mind they get lost.
But once they are spoken
behind open and closed doors
they unearth pain
never know, nor felt before.

If only we were nicer,
I wouldn't have to care
about my nails, clothes,
and most of all, my hair.
So we  put on different looks
hoping to find one that works,
that takes away our doubts
and the thoughts of others that lurk
behind their plastered smiles
and their forced pleasantries
if only I could wipe it off
and be comfortable in me.

"Indefinitely"

Desperation siezes me
and it seems like an eternity,
as I wait and wait
for a muse.

But do not mistake me
I am not dependent on mere
                             W H I M S
I am just afraid
of the light in my head that grows
                                             d      i    m     .

Will it leave and be gone forever?
for hopes and dreams, it will sever

this darkness of cruel reality--
it laughs,
it taunts,
it picks on me.

So what is the point
when it is out of our control?
when we've slaved on words
and bared our soul.

it becomes our obsession
an imaginative affair--
an abstract depiction
of our current cares--

Yet the words keep us enamored
like a siren at sea.
It pulls us in--indefinitely.

Writing Hiatus

So I'm drawing near the time I first started writing M2. M2 was my most serious committed project. I was committed to M1, but as I drew near the last quarter of M1 I knew it just wouldn't work out. Though I loved the story, my writing capabilities lacked the skill to push that manuscript to its full potential.

Now, I'm about halfway through M3. It has been extremely slow going and difficult to write. I have a lot of ideas about where I want M3 to go, but it's hard for me to organize my thoughts clearly. M3 is loosely inspired by my time in high school in college and the friends that have come and gone and the issues we had dealt with. Thus, M3 is more of an issues/coming-of-age story which I've come to learn is harder to write than paranormal or fantasy. At least, for me it is.

Thus I am starting to miss M2 like crazy. I love this story to pieces and I want so much to go on and write the next book and the next to M2. But I know I shouldn't. If M2 ever gets picked up (and I hope it does), there would probably be major editorial changes that may change the course of the series.

So inbetween projects and wants and desires, I've found myself in a writing hiatus. Since I haven't been getting much progress on M3, I've been journaling, binge tv watching, and reading whatever I can get my hands on.

 

Despite my distractions, I feel disociated, like I've lost something. A part of me is itching to go back to M2 and tweak some more and add some scenes, but I can't decide if it would be more damaging then helpful. Alas, I will ponder on this some more and will continue to be positive about writing.

 

This will just be a small bump in the long and windy road.

M2 Wrap-Up

From the movie 'Stuck in Love'

Above all, I am a hopeless romantic. I try to be a realist, but anyone who knows me, knows I am not. There's no fault in being a hopeless romantic though becuase it's gotten me to where I am now: finished with M2 (for now at least).

When I wrote the draft of M1, I knew something was off. It turned out horrible like most first novel attempts. Though I was passionate about being a writer, I wasn't passionate about the story.

M2 was different. I loved the story. I loved the magic. And I loved the characters. Though it was hard, I kept at it, revision after revision. It made me into a hopeless romantic again. Now that M2 has met my vision, it's time to submit to #PitchWars, and if that doesn't happen, time to query. I'm hoping I can find someone who sees my story and wants to build it up even more. If M2 has more room to grow, I would love the guidance to take it there.

In the meantime, here's a quick recap of M2's journey from start time to now:

• Mid October 2013 - I started writing the first draft of M2 and finished mid December, clocking in at about 74,000 words in two months. You can read my lessons after the first draft here.
• January 2014 - I began the second draft of M2 and finished by the first week of March. 85,000 words in another two months. Check out my M2 post here.
• April 2014 - I revised my third draft for my YA workshop course at Hugo House. I was only about 2/3 done when the course began, but completed it a week after it ended in June. Draft three totaled approximately 80,000 words.
• June 2014 through July 2014 - I worked with my CP's (critique partner) feedback and completed my fourth revision that I sent over to my beta readers.
• Mid August 2014 - Completion of revision five based on feedback from Betas.

Beta Feedback So Far

As you guys know, the past three months I've been working diligently with my YA workshop critique partner to nail down my plot points and character motivation. Before leaving to Walla Walla two weeks ago I sent my fourth draft of M2 to four betas and my sisters to read. So in total I ended up with six readers! It was more than I intended since I didn't think my sisters would read it (but I am grateful they did!). As of now I've gotten feedback from 3 out of 6 and am expecting the rest of the feedback by Monday.

This is great news! It gives me time to polish up my manuscript before #PitchWars. And if I don't make it to #PitchWars, then I'll be ready to face the query trenches this fall.

Back to the feedback. Yesterday night I went out to dinner with Cristine to catch up and discuss my manuscript. Afterwards we came back to my apartment for wine and to hear Michael's thoughts on it too.

Along with my sister's notes I received this past weekend, there seems to be an agreement on a chapter that caused confusion and a desire for a more fleshed out ending. Thank the heavens, because these two main issues are totally fixable and won't cause ripple effects throughout the rest of the story or the subplot. Aside from other great little suggestions for tweaks here and there, I think the story line and pacing is pretty solid. So THANK YOU Dao, Cristine, and Michael. You have provided me with such invaluable insight and support. I can't wait to hear back from the other betas either as I know their comments will be just as important.

Since this is the first time I've shared my whole manuscript (not in a classroom/workshop setting), I just want to take a moment and smile until my cheeks hurt because this is a small victory. I can hardly believe that just a year ago I gave up on M1 and unplugged from writing for awhile.  Now in just ten months I've started a completely new manuscript (M2), gone through four revisions, and am now going onto my fifth revision before submitting to contests or querying.

Momentary Crisis!

My working title of my manuscript is taken! *flips through dictionary*

Beta Reading, Synopsis, and Rain

It's Thursday which equals my Friday! Hallelujah!

Michael and I will be going on a getaway trip tomorrow to Walla Walla in Eastern Washington! I seriously cannot wait, this has been one of the longest weeks ever so I am pumped to get out of the city and do some wine tasting.

This week I sent my manuscript to four beta readers. I dowloaded it on my kindle too, but I think I should probably stay away from it awhile to gain some perspective.

M2 seriously drove me bonkers over the weekend, I thought I was going insane. The below comic explains it perfectly.

Though none of my betas are done reading, I've gotten some good comments which makes me sigh with relief (so it wasn't a complete shit show, excuse my language), but I am anxious for the bad comments that will eventually come. It's necessary though, contructive criticism will only make M2 stronger, which is what I want.

In the meantime I've been working on my synopsis and query (you'd be surprised how long it takes to write one letter and a 1-page summary). I've also been doodling ideas for a contemporary romance in case M2 doesn't work out. Though M2 has series potential, I don't want to invest the time in it yet without knowing if  it'll be published or not (though rest-assured, I do have brief arc of the whole series in mind).

Oh and lastly, there was a thunderstorn and downpour yesterday and it's raining today! I guess you can't exscape rain in Seattle, even if it is Summer.

Fourth Revision Readthrough

I love Debbie Ridpath's comics. I feel like the one above completely relates to me this week. I've spent the last three days rereading my whole manuscript from start to finish while Blaire just stares at me. I printed all the pages, and started marking it up like crazy (though I used a blue pen instead of red, because red just looks so mean, doesn't it? Or is that just me?) and now I'm in the process of making the changes on my manuscript on my laptop. I still have to write another chapter or two to fill in a gap I noticed, but I think it will be ready for me to send out to another batch of beta readers this weekend.

But boy am I exhausted... Even as I write this post, while sipping my morning coffee, I feel so dead. This week has just been a rollercoaster. Rereading my manuscript just makes me doubt so much that I can't tell if my story is even good anymore since I've been working on it so much. Thank goodness for beta readers.

I just need to remind myself to presevere. I'm way in too deep to be stopping now.

4th of July Weekend, and Writing Progress

This year was Michael and I's first time spending 4th of July together and I can't believe I didn't get any photos! And Michael only had this one from the weekend:

Top of Poo Poo Point

For 4th of July we went to a friend's barbeque in the afternoon then had a couple over for dinner before going to Volunteer Park to see the fireworks. Michael never know this about me, but I love fireworks. There's just something magical about them and looking at them that night, they reminded me of something from my book that I created.

The next day I met with my critique partner. We're halfway done critiquing each other's drafts! My 4th revision is definitely getting stronger with all of her help. Once home, Michael and I decided to go hiking at Poo Poo Point (Yes, that's actually the name!). We did it last year and decided to do it again this year. Maybe it'll turn out to be a yearly thing for us. I, however, am not athletic as Michael. It was such a breeze for him. I was huffing and puffing the whole way up, but he was sweet enough to encourage me the whole way through.

That evening Michael's parents took us out to Tulio's in downtown Seattle. They spoil us, seriously they do, it was such a treat eating there and it was such a pleasure being in their company as always.

On Sunday Michael and I went out to brunch and then I spent the whole day writing/revising from 10:30 a.m. to 5:40 p.m. That's like a 7-hour shift! If only that could be my full-time job! Perhaps one day.

Though good news is I finished my ending. I've wrote it differently all four drafts, and I finally landed on one that I love. It took me awhile, but I finally got there.Whooo! I still have a lot of editing and revising, but I'll definitely be ready for Pitch Wars and #PitMad in August and September.

I've also been working on my query letter. Man, is that a toughy. I think I've gone through 10 drafts of my query letter now. It's still not quite where I want it though, which is a good thing I'm working on it early. I've also started researching agents to query so that I'll be ready to go when my MS2 is complete.

With all this progress being made, my head is spinning, which means I am in need of a good read. So I'm currently rereading one of my faves, Stolen by Lucy Christoper.