Sunday, December 8, 2013

Back to Sac (Part 2: Thanksgiving)

Take a moment and pause. Appreciate your life as it is now, because it will never be like this, ever again...

I'm a very nostalgic person. Though I shouldn't, I always look to the past, trying to make sense of it as if it could explain the person I had come to be. Sometimes, the past can do that, but sometimes it holds you down, shackling you, never letting you go, which in turn creates an environment of unhappiness in your present. You see, I have a hard time letting the past go.

Around the holidays and the cold weather, my nostalgia hits its peak. In my head I compare the current years to the previous ones and so on. Once I filter through in my mind do I see how much time flies and life changes.

This thanksgiving was no different. I was going home for the holidays. The act of going home and leaving home all over again created a mental fog and a feeling of displacement, because home had completely changed. It wasn't just my sisters, mom, and I. New additions had come to our family through marriages. Thanksgiving when I was seven was completely different to Thanksgiving now as twenty-two. Where did all the years go? Where is home now?

In the moment, life seems to be moving at a snail's pace, but when you take a step back, everything flies by.

It's hard for me to acknowledge this when I yearn for some comforting moment of the past, which I think, makes it hard for me to accept Seattle as my new home. Maybe I don't make much sense, or I'm not making it very clear. So to simplify: No point in life is ever the same, it changes even though you don't notice it. So appreciate it now, before it's gone forever.

An example of this would be my idea of home. I've always wanted to leave Sacramento. I always looked for an 'escape plan,' but now that I have it. I miss it, and now I'm looking for ways to go back home again. But even if I go back, it's not the same. Time has changed it.

So enough of my confusing spiel that has you scratching your head, and onto my narrative account of my time there in my next post!

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